


the sixteen things stiles will never say

by zacefronspants



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, M/M, Stiles & Scott don't know each other bc au, derek is slightly oc, everyone is human bye, fuCKING CREEP AND IS DEREK'S BOTHER PLS, im so soRRY I SHOUFL STOP NOPW, lydia makes an appearance holla, pretend for a moment, that peter isnt, that's it?????, this is a real life experience turned fic, umh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 4,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2861966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sixteen thoughts for sixteen instances.</p><p>or, Derek breaks up with Stiles and Stiles has a hard time dealing with it, until he meets Scott. </p><p>or, the sixteen real thoughts i've experienced and turned into a fic about boys loving other boys</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I. Your lips tasted of honey and vodka.

**Author's Note:**

> Stiles will be sort of OC for a few chapters or idk if he is OC idk im sorrY
> 
> the chapters will vary in length or be images related to the story that i have made
> 
> luv u

Two empty bottles sat lying on the floor next to Stiles as he counted his fingers and tried to force himself to wake up from this too realistic dream. Stiles let his hands fall to the wet ground as he looked up at the sky and let out soft puffs of air and counted the vast expanse of the sky.

Stiles likes to tell himself that it wasn’t his fault Derek left, this they drifted apart and that the remaining taste of honey was all in his head and that after he rubs his lips with the back of his pale hand, the taste will suddenly be gone.

But it won’t.

Sitting up slowly, the effects of the alcohol swimming throughout his body making his eyes blur, he started crying; loud, choking sobs escaping his mouth as he pulled the grass out in clumps and threw them in the air. Taking deep breathes he let the cries stop until he was sniffing through the amounts of snot gathered in his nose, ignoring the itch of dried tears on his cheeks.

Picking himself up he walked unsteadily back into his house and collapsed in the living room floor, crying with every lick he took of his lips, the overwhelming taste of honey lingering on his tongue. 

After a while the sun blankets the room with a soft orange light and the patter of his mother upstairs can be heard and Stiles sits up, breathing deeply, he stands up and goes into the kitchen and starts a pot of coffee.

Sometime later, after he’s done having a staring contest with his toilet, he’ll ask his mom if it gets easier and hang his head when she says, “It all depends baby love, how badly does it hurt?”

Stiles knows, deep down, that none of this was his fault and that it was bound to happen, but he can’t stop feeling that the bones in his body cave in on themselves each time he breathes.

He feels like his chest is gaping and someone is rubbing salt in the wound. 

He wakes up gasping for air every now and then, the pain still as fierce when Derek said, nonchalantly, “I am breaking up with you.” And Stiles will reply the smooth curve of Derek’s pink lips forming each word. Stiles will remember the way Derek’s eyes were telling him the same as his mouth was, and Stiles will love him in the morning.


	2. II. You said you never loved me today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> derek is sort of mentioned because it's just stiles in his car at first
> 
> iM SORRY IF YOU HATE ME FOR MAKING DEREK COLD BUT IT GETS BETTER I SWEAR
> 
> fun fact: i was listening to punk goes christmas while writing this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clarify a few things:
> 
> -derek will come off as cold or a douche, but he is not actually a douche i swear  
> -stiles does not know scott and scott does not know derek  
> -scott will not hate derek  
> -these are my own personal thoughts and experiences that i have turned into a fic

Stiles sat in the back of his car and typed out a message to Derek, only to delete it before he pushed the send button, teeth digging into the flesh of his bottom lip as he finally sent a message. Throwing the phone into the front seat, Stiles scrubbed a hand down his face, squeezing his eyes closed as he took several deep breaths.

**8:05 AM  
** do you still love me?

Stiles started crying when his phone dinged, his fingers trembling as he picked it back up out of the front seat.

**9:15 AM  
** Never did. 

Stiles feels his chest _break open._ He feels his eyes prickle with tears and his face turn red in anger and desperation. Stiles starts to grasp at his shirt because the air feels _too thick_ and his shirt feels like it’s cutting the circulation off to his windpipe. His teeth are grinding together as he pulls and tears on his shirt in desperate attempts to _get it off._

Stiles drops his hands and lets his mouth go slack as he looks at the roof of his car, eyes still burning from the tears he’s shed as he mumbles, “I think you’re lying.”  Stiles scrubs a hand down his face and takes a deep breath, crawling back to the driver’s seat.

Sometime later, after he’s cried into his mother’s lap, he’ll help her make cookies and take down the Christmas decorations, flailing when he falls off a stool causing his mother to let out a boisterous laugh and condemn him to the floor where he’ll, “Put the tree dressings into that box and not,” on his head.  

During dinner, when he’s been scolded for chewing with his mouth open, his father will tell him he’s going to be okay one day, and he’ll ruffle Stiles’ hair with a small wink and steal his bacon, making his mother sigh and flick his forehead.

Stiles helps his mother do the dishes and for a moment he’ll stop and say, “I used to help Derek’s mother with the dishes.” With a sour look as he dries and re-dries the same frying pan for several minutes before his mother takes it away and smiles wistfully.

“I was in the same boat as you, once.” Claudia says leaning against Stiles. “I had it bad for this person. We were together until college. He broke up with me in the middle of our five year anniversary dinner.” She goes on, facing Stiles.

“I poured my dinner in his lap and left. I cried for what felt like years.” Claudia says kissing his forehead.

“Why are you telling me this?” Stiles asks, annoyance in his voice, and then his face softens into a look of sadness, “I feel like I’ve been twice divorced and like I should be singing Barbra Streisand on a piano.”

Claudia laughs quietly and says, “I did too, I _did it,_ and the reason Stiles, is because I understand what you feel like. There will be other boys, or girls, and they’ll all make a home in you, never leaving. You just have to wait for the right one.” Kissing his cheek she sends him upstairs.

Stiles sits in the middle of his bed until the sun is orange and the boxes marked, _Derek’s Shit_ , no longer make the anvil on his chest feel as heavy, sighing he stands up and starts taking them down stairs, setting them in the Jeep and going inside.

_Tomorrow,_ he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me on tumblr @demonicanalplugs


	3. III. I went over to your house; your mom said she misses me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stiles goes to see talia 
> 
> that's it
> 
> this is tied to chapter two
> 
> some of them will be interlinked, but most others wont be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh
> 
> i listened to sad rihanna music while writing this hbu
> 
> talia feels?????
> 
> also, i've been sick for like three weeks, and since school's resumed, it may take longer to pump chapters out. 
> 
> feel free to ask me questions on my tumblr, demonicanalplugs!

Stiles sat in the wooded drive way, fingers tapping nonsensical rhythms against the musty leather of his steering wheel. He knows somewhere deep down that being here is a bad idea, that showing up with these boxes won’t change that Derek, is no longer his, and he is no longer Derek’s.

Stiles runs his hands over his face and bits the palm of one his hands, screaming into the sweaty flesh and wincing when his throat turns raw. Pulling his palm away from his mouth he starts the car, turning the volume low and finishing the drive up the path and stopping. Stiles leaned back in his seat and sighs deeply, unbuckling himself and stepping out of the Jeep.

Grabbing two boxes, he hobbled up to the front door, knocking twice before covering his face and taking more deep breaths.

Stiles looked up when Talia answered the door and a soft, “He’s an idiot,” left her mouth as she pulled him into a long, tight hug. He instinctively laughed and hugged her back, just a fiercely. “I have the remains of his shi- stuff. His stuff. His items. His belongings in my car.” Stiles said, heavily.

Talia covered her mouth and laughed quietly, ushering him inside. “Leave them on the porch...All of them, show him I’m still mad and you are too. Do you want tea? To talk about it? To kill him?” She asked brightly, handing Stiles a cup of hot chocolate and seating herself at the large wooden table in their kitchen/dining area. Chuckling Stiles sat across from her and took ginger sips, shaking his head. “I’m…Better. I’m not as angry.” He said, not sure if he was trying to convince her or himself. Probably both.

Talia reached a gently hand out and gripped one his pale ones. “You were always horrible at lying.”

Making an unintelligent noise, Stiles glared at her half-heartedly. “I’m mad. Mad as hell. He’s a dumb boy. I’m an even dumber one. I hate him. He looks like an elf had sex with a reindeer.” He rushed out, a light pink shade tinting his cheeks when Talia raised her perfectly trimmed eyebrows at him.

Smiling sheepishly, he tried to correct his mistake, “Not that you’re ugly Talia. You’re beautiful. You’re like the sky-“ Talia barks out a loud, over powering laugh, which resembles Derek’s. “It’s okay Stiles. You look ready to cry, do you want too?” She asks in a softer ton, running her calloused thumb over his knuckle.

At that, Stiles starts sobbing loudly and covering his face with his free hand and trying to still his shaking hand encased in Talia’s smaller one.

Talia stands up and walks to him, engulfing him in a hug and rubbing his back. “It’s okay to want to cry. But it’s not okay to lie to yourself, Stiles.” 

Stiles nods, jerky and quick as he murmurs, “I love him and this whole thing feels like the time Peter gave me red chili pepper and said it was just candy. My mouth _feels like it’s burning._ And my heart is beating a million miles a minute whenever I see him. I hate feeling like this. I just want it to stop.”

Talia pulls away and pinches his cheeks, swatting at them afterwards. “Good. Now, stand up and help me unload your Jeep before his royal highness, I mean Derek gets home from lacrosse. In the meantime, we can leave them all on the porch like I said before, and I can make him put them away.” She said winking and walking out of the house.

After a while, a few more tears and promises of coming back soon, Stiles is feeling lighter than he has in months. Stiles looks at Talia as she finished wrapping up some cookies for him and he feels guilty for staying away so long, but he _just wasn’t ready to face her._ And he knows he was being ridiculous.

But dammit, he was hurt.

Talia looks at him and smiles at him, warm and soft. The way that Derek did when they were out for midnight walks, or runs in Derek’s case, and his chest clenches tightly, making his lip quiver. “Chin up my boy, I know it hurts. It’ll stop in time.” She says sternly, looking back at the wrappings.

“Besides, Derek’s dad did the same thing to me in high school. But then again, it lasted a day. My son is an idiot. A bonafide idiot. “ Talia says, horror lacing her tone as she looks back at Stiles, making him laugh weakly.

“I knew that when he asked me if it was normal for your bellybutton to smell like Peter’s old shoes.” Stiles said gravely, a look of disgust on his face, making them both laugh.

Talia handed him the cookies and kissed his forehead. “I miss you, Stiles.” She said softly, “Come around more often. Derek is a fool to have let you go.” Stiles smiles, watery and nods furiously as he hugs her before leaving.

Stiles brushes past Derek, and his footsteps falter at the look of annoyance masking his face. “Go home Stiles.”

So Stiles kicks a box, a lewd smirk on his lips when he hears something _shatter_ before he leaves and goes home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love u


	4. IV. I found your cigarette butts on my floor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> derek smokes ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh
> 
> hello i love you this is super short i love you im sorry

It happened when Stiles was picking up empty bags of fast food.

They just fell out onto the dirty carpet and his heart stopped beating. His breathing got deeper and faster, fingers crushing the thin paper in his hand as he backed away from the offending items covered in brown stains and grey ash. Stiles felt anger build up in his chest as he bent down and picked them up off the ground, growling in his chest as he threw them out the window and wiped at his face.

Struggling, Stiles forced himself to sit in the computer chair and take a breath. He knows that it’s been seven months now, but it still makes him angry.

Sighing he stands himself up and finishes cleaning his room, or well, re-organizing his trash piles before he remembers the night he first kissed Derek.

_Derek looked at him with an amused expression, blowing out small puffs of smoke. “You’re such a dork,” he murmurs fondly. Stiles rolls his eyes and shrugs, “It’s possible we’re just marinates being controlled by some big entity.”_

_Derek leans in close, the smell of his cigarette heavy on his breath as he whispers, “Shut up.”_

_Stiles feels his cheeks burn as he averts his gaze away, a small tickle of embarrassment creeping into his spine. “I want you to kiss me,” he whispers softly, closing his eyes. And then there are lips on his own, pressing softly and the taste of smoke._

_Stiles’ eyes fly open and a gentle gasp escapes his mouth before he kisses back._

Stiles blinks the thought away and laid his head on the pillow, sighing to himself and touching his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye


	5. V. That old sweater of yours is still hanging on my closet door.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which stiles has a staring contest with a sweater
> 
> or
> 
> no that's it basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school makes me want to die
> 
> and this is rlly short i am sorry

The sun painted the messy bedroom with different shades of light, illuminating the hole covered sweater that hung loosely from the closet door knob, a long sob echoing throughout the bedroom.

Stiles sat there and stared at the sweater, his fingers burning to touch the fabric, just one more time before he finished packing the rest of Derek’s clothes and leaving them on the lacrosse field. He hoped it fucking rained tomorrow.

Stiles took deep shuddering breaths and told himself to _stop crying over a stupid boy_ and to just finish packing the remains of his clothes.

But he couldn’t, they still smelled like he did and he hated how much he missed him.

Stiles squinted at the piece of fabric and tried to set it on fire, giving himself a headache after ten minutes of just staring. Stiles knew he was being ridiculous, and that Lydia was right, but he would never admit that to her.

Stiles stood up and leisurely walked over to his closet, picking up the sweater and throwing it into a box and running back to his bed, as if he had been burned.

Closing his blinds he crawled into bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin and sighed, _it will be okay one day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new tumblr url: sleepyhamlet


	6. VI. Your little sister said she wants me to do her hair for a dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listen to a lot of sad music
> 
> and this is really just a fucking mess because im a mess i am so sorry

Stiles let his feet dangle carelessly in the aisle of the food court, a cold piece of lettuce hanging out of his mouth as he listened to Cora explain in detail the time that Stiles had braided her hair, a demanding tone in her voice when she said, "Do it for the dance, Stiles."

And Stiles thought, while Cora impatiently tapped her foot and nails against the fake wooden table. Stiles ran his fingers through h is unkempt hair, murmuring, "Okay, but no complaining when Lydia forces you to let her do your makeup."  Smirking when Cora blinked at him dumbly, a scowl painting her thin lips.

Stiles spit the lettuce out and sighed, "How are you?" 

Stiles listens vaguely as she rattles off about school and her latest girl troubles, his eyes scanning the nearly empty eating area for  _him._ Stiles snorted loudly, shaking his head. 

"Hey Cora, I'm going to head home. I'm not feeling well, come by around eight and I'll fix your hair." Stiles said, ignoring the look of confusion she had on her face, exiting the food court quickly.

Stiles gets into his dad's car, and drives until he is sitting out on an abandoned road, loud screams escaping his lips. 

"I deserve more than you." He whispers several times over, like a mantra. 


	7. VII. Your father said he hopes you’ll understand what you've done, you won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clarify something: 
> 
> this is a story about learning to let go of someone, this is not about someone saving someone else. 
> 
> and derek's dads name is geoff bc i love rooster teeth and i dont know his dads actual name bye

Dangling his legs off the side of the small bridge in the park, Stiles leaned his head back and looked up at the sky, small sighs leaving his lips as he watched the fat white clouds move lethargically across the sky. Squeezing his eyes closed, Stiles applauded himself mentally for going on dates, coffee outings, fuck, even getting a job.

It’d been six months since Derek and Stiles was feeling somewhat normal. Stiles sighed and hung his head, shaking it gently before he stood up slowly and made his way to the swing set, dropping his phone an car keys before sitting down and beginning to swing.

After his fingers are numb and bright red, Stiles picks his car keys and cell phone up and walking to his car. Stiles scrubbed a hand down his face and hopped into his car, driving towards the supermarket. Stiles wander aimlessly around until he found the cereal, debating on whether he should get gluten free or not.

“Gluten free shit tastes like Satan’s ass,” a gruff voice spoke up, disgusting lacing the person’s tone, making Stiles turn and grin widely.

“Long time no see, Geoff.” Stiles says shaking his hand, and grabbing the non-gluten free cereal. “You know, Derek fucked up with you.” Geoff said softly, a small smile on his face causing Stiles to freeze.

“He needs to open his eyes and see he made a huge mistake. Anyways, I’ve got to go, come ‘round more. Talia misses you.” He said clapping Stiles on the shoulder and walking off.

Stiles snorted and shook his head, mumbling, “Derek is a dumbass. He won’t see what he did wrong.”


	8. VIII. The sky is grey, like your eyes are in the winter time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is sort of personal, and kind of emotional because the winter really does remind me of my ex boyfriend, you probs don't care but oh well
> 
> also lydia and stiles are not dating they just spend a lot of time together 
> 
> she also calls Claudia mom or mommy or mother ok it's a hyeadcanon of mine let me lIVE

It's rainy when Stiles wakes up, the rain splattering against his windows as he wrinkles his nose when he gets a nose full of strawberry blonde hair scented with his shampoo. He smiles softly and untangles their limbs, going towards the window and kneeling down, arms resting against the windowsill and watching the rain make shapes on the dark grey concrete. Dragging his teeth against the pink of his bottom lip he looks up at the sky, a twinge of remembrance hitting his gullet. 

Lydia watches from her crumpled up position on the bed, a pitiful look gracing her face as she whispers, "It's okay, you know," making Stiles jump slightly, not sparring a glance as he mumbles something along the lines of, "What?" Lydia giggles and sits up, walking to him and wrapping her arms around his neck as she leans against him, cheek against his neck.

"To miss him. It's been a year and you've gotten so much better, you know? You're still sad, but you're not falling apart at your seams. There's a light in your smile," She says tenderly, rocking with him, "I missed it." She finishes gently. Stiles chuckles and shakes his head, a small smile on his lips.

"The sky is like his eyes, ya know? They were always so grey and it was enchanting sometimes." Stiles says leaning into her. Lydia smacks his arm and murmurs, "You don't need him baby boy. It's not good for you to look at everything and only see him." 

And Stiles knows she's right; dwelling on him isn't good for his mental state, he knows in his heart that's stopped beating for him that he needs just stop remembering everything. But to Stiles, the memories, they come in flashes like Polaroids, like ripping a band-aid, or stubbing you toes and you're forced to just  _feel or stare or look._ He's stopped looking for him on the street corners and in the halls, but pieces of him miss Derek. 

Lydia pressed a gentle but firm kiss to his temple and says, "Come on Stilinski, I have to finish cutting your hair and I have to pick your outfit out for the day because you are not allowed to dress yourself, no matter how much mom may like your hideous clothes."

Stiles scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say,  _your royal highness,_ " _  
_


	9. IX. Your brother said you’re not happy anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is different, i didn't have it in me to write it out so i made text edits of peter talking to stiles bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know, i apologize for the lengthy time between updates. i was working through so very personal things and i had no time to write. i would also like to thank you for the support and kudos! they mean a lot too me.

 

Stiles sighed and closed his phone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, i really want to make a playlist for this, so if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know!


	10. X. Our song came on; it doesn't make me cry anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is short

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that song i mention is linked in the story, but in case it doesn't work, it's Lullaby by Front Porch Step.

  _"[Well I don't have a heart, I gave it to you long ago, I'm so in love with you I just thought that you should know,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvX_-n-egHI)"  _ were the words that Derek first sang to Stiles the day they declared their love. 

And sometimes Stiles will listen to them over and over again until he feels like his chest is being crushed and like he can no longer breathe, but he does not cry, not anymore. He doesn't feel the salt water run down his face and into his open mouth, he doesn't scream until his throat is raw and begging for him to stop, but he does lose all sense of breathing when the beginning chords come on through his speakers. Stiles wonders if Derek hears this and thinks about how it felt when they first kissed, or how nervous Derek claims to have been when they first fucked. Stiles wonders a lot of the time if Derek knows what the word sorry even means or if he ever meant it when he said it. 

Stiles will ghost his lips over the collar of his jacket and hear the soft whispers that he and Derek shared while the song played in the background of his Jeep, and he will feel like his lungs will be ripped out.

But he will not cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the shortness of this chapter


	11. XI. You called me today, I didn't answer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stiles isnt as okay as he thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay a few things:  
> 1\. do not ask me to hurry up and update  
> 2\. this is sciles, it's just taking a while  
> 3\. stiles will get over this funk  
> 4\. it's supposed to be sad because this is stuff i went through  
> 5\. there are exactly 5 chapters left

Stiles hits the reject button so fast his eyes nearly bulge out of his skull and Lydia raises her eyebrows at him as she sips her warm tea. Stiles feels his throat close up as Lydia rubs a hands up and down his arm and tells him to just breathe slowly. Stiles  _can't because why would he do that?_ and it feels like they just broke up all over again. 

** 1 New Voicemail **

Stiles desperately wants to listen to the message, but he can't, or he shouldn't, but oh god how he wants too. 

A piece of Stiles hopes Derek is calling to ask for him back and that he's miserable, and another piece of him hopes he's just calling to see if they can be friends again. Stiles is shaking and Lydia feels hopeless as she watches him, and Stiles  _feels so bad_ but he just can't stop shaking. Stiles clears his throat and stands up, "I'll be back," he mumbles as he picks his phone up and walks towards the bathroom.  _  
_

His thumb is hovering over the play button, and Stiles has chewed his lips raw from stalling. And then Lydia in the bathroom and peeling the phone from his hands, a the message saying, " _I, uh, I miss you,"_

But it fell on deaf ears and Stiles buried his face in her neck and sobbed out, "I should be okay by now, right? Right Lydia?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the kudos and comments, they mean so much.


	12. XII. She’s prettier than me, why do I still care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was told through poems i wrote seven months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things:  
> 1\. almost done!  
> 2\. this will not be sad after the next chapter, i promise.  
> 3\. sciles for real, i swear i love u  
> 4\. thank you for sticking by this story

 

 

 


	13. XIII. I think you smiled at me, or maybe it was at the person behind me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am alive i love u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ???? 
> 
> also, i apologize for how sad this has been and if it's upset anyone. these are real experiences i have had while dealing with a break up.

Stiles doesn't know what possessed him to flip Derek off, or if Derek was even looking at him. Lydia stated it was the girl behind them, but well. Lydia smacked his shoulder and tugged him away from the shocked elderly lady and into the dimly lit bookstore. “You’re so stupid,” Lydia hissed at Stiles as he smacked his forehead repeatedly. Stiles looked out the window and watched Derek walk past with a girl on his arm and he felt sick to his stomach. 

"I should be," Stiles stopped and shook his head, Talia's earlier words ringing in his head, " _You can move on whenever you are ready too,_ " Stiles knows somewhere past the bitterness swirling around his heart that he doesn't love Derek anymore, but he's still so hurt and angry.

And Derek probably wasn't smiling at him.


	14. XIV. I met a boy today, he makes me smile.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a seriously, ridiculous amount of waiting
> 
> here is scoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do not pester me about scott anymore, respectively, none of you on here have, but a few (15 a day) anons have asked me on tumblr, which i dont answer because this is more of a get over a relationship in your own time. not "i met a boy he fixed me lol" okay, because that's not how life works.

Stiles goes from sitting neatly in his chair and writing down the required math equations to do the work to falling out of his chair within the blink of an eye because _holy shit_ a new kid walked in and he makes Stiles’ eyes widen. Coughing nervously, Stiles sits back into his chair and keeps his eyes trained on the messy notes he had been taking.

“Class this is Scott,” his teacher announces and Stiles looks up to see the kid, Scott, wave nervously and smile awkwardly. Stiles melts slightly and feels his lips turn upwards into a small smile when his teacher says, “Stiles has an open seat beside him,” because _he gets to sit by Stiles._ Scott nods and makes his way to where Stiles is sitting and offers a small smile and a soft, “I saw you fall, are you alright?” and it’s the most beautiful thing Stiles has heard.

“I am perfectly okay. 100% okay, no, 1000% okay,” He rambles on and takes Scott’s hand, smiling impishly.


	15. XV. I think I stopped loving you today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poems that i made sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends i am not dead i got temporary writers block please forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will try and have the last chapter up soon, i apologize for the lengthy hiatus


	16. XVI. I love him, not like I loved you, but somewhere close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is here, the end! thank you for those who have stAYED THIS LONG 
> 
> this is also so short, but i think this was a good way to end it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to request things on my [tumblr](http://dxrtyface.tumblr.com)

Stiles supposes that he’s not in love with Derek anymore, or maybe a piece of his heart is, he’s just sure he’s not  _ in  _ love with him anymore. And the realization happened one night after Scott had introduced him to his best friend Allison over a Skype call, that he was helplessly in love with Scott. He’s in love with the crookedness of Scott’s jaw and the way he makes soft noises of agreement, Scott with his calloused fingers and stupid two ring tattoo on his arm, Scott with his shaggy hair and soft smiles, Scott, Scott, Scott. And he thinks that maybe he’s okay again, or at least mostly. Maybe it’s because he took the summer off and spent it with Scott in Minnesota with his aunt Derma to escape everything that was Derek, or maybe it’s because Scott said softly, “We can go as fast or as slow as you’d like too, baby,” and it made him feel in his bones that he’d be alright one day.

  
All he knows is that he’s wrapped around Scott’s tanned fingers and he knows he’d rather be there than anywhere else. 

**Author's Note:**

> be patient for the next update please.


End file.
